I paid this dog $5.00 to take a shit on this guy.
If you need me, give me a ring, I'll have my phone on me. I'm just going to take a quick nap on someones front fucking steps.
If you've ever dreamed of one day being a doorstep douche, this guy just set the bar.
Because it's just not comfortable unless you take off 1 shoe.
Tags: doorstep douche